Praise, Worship, Eucharistict celebrations as I remembered it.

I was reading the reports on the Eucharistic Congress held in Quebec Canada (Herald June 29th 08) and the words and remarks that touched me were the heartaches of Cardinal Sarr on observing closed churches in the West, while in Senegal, they "have to find a place to build new churches" and the other, from Jean Audet, one of the thousands who observed the Eucharistic procession through the streets of Quebec. He said "It is very old and reminds me of my young time".

It certainly brought back my own nostalgic memories of the yester-years.. Old practices has a unique quality of its own, very meaningful and rich in rituals, despite not being so well accepted today.. Coming from a mission school, I had always been drawn to this wonderful place called church. Even as a little girl (perhaps, seven or eight, year one/two) I was already hanging around the church building, peeping and looking in wonder at all the church goers dressed in their Sunday best, the men immaculately dressed, complete with matching ties and shoes polished till they shone, and the ladies very prim and proper, prettily attired in dresses and skirts, with their hair demurely covered with either a white or black laced veil. Some ladies wore beautiful hats. They greeted each other, shook hands , exchanged a few pleasantries before they trooped into the church interior, with bowed heads. Once inside the church, all conversation ceased totally. The devoted, young and old, would all kneeled and prayed.. To an unitiatiated curious observer and a little girl to boot, it was long kneeling sessions, and I used to wonder whether any of their knees ever protested. Mass was a very formal and solemn affair indeed. But the hymns were beautiful, so beautiful and so soul lifting, that the peace and love it emits, had remained very much a part of my memory till this day.

I remember tip toeing into church oneday, so much in awe and taken up by the holiness of the place that I wanted to be part of the celebrations however the childish patter of my feet on bright red clogs seemed to echo in the quiet and solemn church. Heads turned, disapproval written all over their faces and there was the "Sshhhh" sign only without the sound, lips compressed and fingers pressed firmly over them. And so I had to retreat, and be contented with an outside view.

I remembered the flock partaking of both bread and the wine. The faithful would kneel and the parish priest would place the eucharist on their tongue, after which they would make the sign of the cross and solemnly walked back to their places. So much reverence. It was a beautiful sight. There was then planted in me this seed , I had never been able to shake off even today. My conscious holds beautiful memories of church doors which were always opened; the sacredness of the crucifix, the powerful essence of spirituality and holiness the moment you step into the church building; that beautiful feelings of reverence has remained ever since.

It is now a common practice among some churches to close their doors after mass, for security reasons. What a pity! . Our faithful too have moved on with the times and the church interior has become more than a place where the faithful gathers for worship and eucharistic celebrations. It has doubled up for other activities as well.. It is in keeping with the times- nothing wrong with that ,but I will always thank God for calling me at that tender age to witness (even if I was just a very curious non catholic observer) what it was to come before Him in a holy place and worship him..with such spiritual consciousness.This beautiful memory will remain warm and cherished in my heart always, no matter how much times have changed and will keep on changing.

Trust in God and Walk the Faith

"So do not be afraid of people, whatever is now covered up will be uncovered and every secret will be made known. Matt 10:26

and again

"Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul, rather be afraid of God, who can destroy; both body and soul in hell. For only a penny you can buy two sparrows, yet not one sparrow falls to the ground without your Father's consent. As for you, even the hairs of your head have been counted. So do not be afraid; you are worth much more than many sparrows." Matt10: 28:30

I was totally overwhelmed: the gospel reading from Matt 10-ver 26-30 hit me straight in the face. It was literally a, "Wake up! I am here" message ; the Lord answers through the Sunday readings , His Listening Ear has heard the many laments, I whispered . I have been so traumatised by insincerity, deceit and all the shadowy plays, the "behind the scene schemings" and these coming from people I considered good friends and even those closest to me; that I wondered if I ought to have a blackier and tougher heart. And yes, I was disillusioned. My spirit would have faded away, if not for my daily prayers and trust in the Lord. Today's reading further comforts and assures. Indeed, there is no need to fret, nor fear for Higher Hands are leading me . Whatever has been shrouded from me will one day be all revealed. There is no need to be afraid of anyone or their intentions, for whatever man does, they cannot keep their secrets from God.

Truly there is a time and a season for everything. A time and season when the Lord feels it is time to intervenes and steps in to bring comfort to bruised hearts and spirits. The Lord does not test beyond our strength.

The Gospel reading not only relates to our own personal crosses and burden, it is reminding us to have faith and trust in God, for " even the hairs of our heads have been counted", therefore fret not and fear not, we have God with us, let His Will be done on earth as in Heaven and Surely our tomorrows will be well taken care of.

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Feast of St Anthony 15th June, Carey Island

Whenever I had a need to find anything, it is always, "St. Anthony, please help me" and the prayers were always answered. So when I saw the poster invitation to attend the feast day of this great Saint in Carey Island, I thought why not? After all, I had never been to this chapel nor to Carey Island for that matter. It was definitely a good opportunity, especially as there was a bus going from St. Anne's church and there were still plenty of seats available, and so it was that I found myself on the bus enroute to Carey Island, at 8.30a.m.., Sunday, 15th June 2008.

I had always visualised Carey Island to be some what like Pangkor, surrounded by sea. In my mind, there was this narrow bridge, yes, rickery old bridge, leading into the island,with vehicles crawling slowly in, one after another and splashing water beneath the bridge... So you can image just how surprised I was, to find nothing that even remotely resembled an island.

It was a pretty fast and smooth ride. Once entering Panglima Garang, there was already clear road signs showing directions to the "Island". I saw a small river and that was about it. Infact it was more plantation, Sime Darby Plantations more than anything else- miles and miles of oil palms. The Chapel, was as they said, some 15km into the interior. I did however see a signboard indicating "beach" at the opposite direction from the way to the chapel. Upon arriving at the chapel, another surprise! Awesome!A huge turnout and in such a remote location. And the chapel ? It is actually quite modern, nothing like the wooden structure of my active imagination.

All seatings , surrounding the three sides of the chapel were fully taken up. The interior of the chapel was packed to the brim. We were there for the 10.30a.m. mass which was supposed to be in English but most of it was conducted in Tamil. Charged up ,as I was for the praise and worship, I ended up less connected ; you know, short of the spiritual element and closeness with God, due to the inability to fully understand and follow the worship etc.. in Tamil. But the homily in Tamil and English was soul searching and powerful enough. Don't get me wrong, the celebrations, were great. As Father said, so many people worked so hard to make this Feast celebrations, a special occasion for those who seek the intercession and prayers of St Anthony. But ,it would have made a greater difference if we could follow the whole mass in English.

What amazes me though, were the generosity of the brethen and well wishers from Carey Island. Free flowing lunch, and soft drinks , even ice cream, yes, ice cream were provided to all. By free flowing, I really meant free flowing. Chicken, mutton, vegetables, etc.. etc..were plentiful, and generous portions were piled on to the plates of all who took lunch and yet so much more were still available. I was told by some brethren that people just kept coming in with their food donations . Amazing how generous people in smaller areas/towns are. As I watch the bountiful feasting , the thought that entered my head was" Wow!St Anthony must have been working and praying real hard for the people of Carey Island, and they in gratitute have come to offer thanksgivings and share their good fortune with others."The atmosphere was really carnival like and joyous. Total strangers smile and greet you. I was blessed to meet up with this lovely lady, Gladys who went out of her way to make me feel welcome and cared for. I enjoyed her stories from yester-days and I shall definitely include them into my collection of treasures, with a tribute of thanks.

We had gone to St Anthony's Feast for spiritual food and fulfillment, but the generous brethren of St. Anthony's provided more; food for the physicial body as well, and they really fed us well.

Many thanks, brethen of St. Anthony and Carey Island.

Heeding the call for salvation

A superb choice of hymns for today's Eucharist. Many sang with amazing gusto. It is not very often, I hear such passion in the voices of parishers as they sang their hearts out; their voices ringing out in great gushes of praise, and worship. Every word becomes a personal prayer and yes, we do need the mercy of the Lord, every minute, every second of the day.And yes, we, all of us, do draw strength from the Giver of Life. When we are down and out, it is God, who lifts us up. When we are so alone and nobody cares, it is God who comforts and give us the courage to face another day.

To be part of the faith community; indeed, we need to be given the gift of faith, and God's grace to heed the call to be part of his chosen flock, his people. Astounding isn't it? It is not us, but God who decides, who enters his kingdom. A very sobering thought indeed. The fortunate will be touched by God, somehow, sometime, somewhere along life's journey; and they will surely be with Him at the end of time.

If only all of us realise this, we would be seeking out God ,right now and asked to be allowed into His kingdom. This journey though long and turbulent, is only for a little while, but the life after this, will be for eternity and sorrowful the souls who did not enter the gate of salvation, when they were given the opportunity to do so; for then the doors would be shut and forever closed to them.

Come all of you who have been touched, let us thank God for his amazing grace!

The Wonder of Faith in God

Faith, how miraculous, and fulfilling the rewards of God! If only all of us could have a little of Abraham's faith in his unquestioning faith and belief in God, then indeed we could all move mountains and smile more than we cry and the world will be a better place to live in. Abraham cannot figure out how God will fulfill his promise of a son when he was a hundred years old and Sarah his wife so advanced in age, she was already barren; he just let God do the impossible and indeed, the impossible did conform to God's will.

Scriptures taught us the grace of faith, yet the human side of us continue to question and allow negative thoughts to cloud and crowd out the seed of faith within our hearts, mind and soul. By preventing the grace of God to reach our hearts and water the seed of faithfulness within us, we are the ultimate losers because good can only come from positiveness and strong belief in the love and power of God. Did not Jesus admonish us for our lack faith? " Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow or reap nor gather into barns, and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them " Matthew 6:26 and again " Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin," Matt 6:28. The question posed to us was and is:-" And which of you by being anxious can add one cubit to his span of life? " Matthew 6:27 . Indeed, for all our anxious labour,unceasing clamour for wealth and power; for all our scheming and planning ; ultimately, it is the will of God that prevails. Remember, Man plans but it is God who decides. Jesus taught us to simply trust in God " Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you" Matthew 7: 7 . The sheer act of trust and surrendering, and leaving it to God to provide, carries the Lord's promise that we will receive whatever that we ask.

The Grace that Leads me on

"Higher Hands are Leading me", as I sang this beautiful hymn at the end of the Eucharistic celebarations last Friday, a gush of tears overwhelmed; yes, I sometimes felt lost in time and in space and it is always God's grace that leads me on. I felt a touch of healing grace, as the words filled me with the realisation that God is leading me by the hand and will continue to lead me on, until home I come. I am not alone, ever and that is such a comforting thought.

It is the demons within that I have to battle to continue receiving this grace; so much of unforgiveness, so many temptations, the guilt and most of all the realisation that I am more prone to sin than ever. If I could banish the demons from my own heart, and expect less of myself, then my journey will become easier. Loving God is more than worship and charitable works ; it is also a journey of surrender and release from our worldly baggage and that is something so very difficult to do, because at some point, when things do not go our way, doubts creep in and the questioning starts. Though the arms of the Loving Father is always welcoming, we turn away.